I’ll tell you how it happens.

You just go ahead and live a little of your life and your blogging time diminishes to a little sparkly crystal of preciousness which you hold near your heart and stare at in your quiet moments.

Or something.

But we took a little family trip (to a sunny southern city) and we laughed and we hiked and we sang songs and we told funny stories and Kid 1 may have poured her coffee-machine hot cocoa into the bottom of her mug, forgetting that little detail of Turning the Mug Over. We swam and we fogged-in the hot-tub room and we ate 5 pounds of gummy worms among us. And those were a few really fun days.

But also. There was this other thing.

I’m querying, you see. And for me, querying is a mad mixture of exciting and horrible, much like cheese fondue or deep-fried anything. It feels so awesome right up until it starts feeling barf-inducing.

I’ve sent out several queries. I’ve gotten about 10% positive response. (No, Dad, that doesn’t mean offers of representation. That means people saying “That doesn’t sound too bad. Send the manuscript – or part of it – to me and I’ll have a look at it.” Which is so very, very positive. To me.) And I’ve gotten several very polite rejections.

Rejections, polite or otherwise, make me sad.

Because as much as I’d like to say I can separate myself from my work, it’s PERSONAL. You know? It is. And a tiny part of me wants to knock on the metaphorical doors of these nice people and say, “But LOOK at me. I’m nice. I’m groomed. I’m wearing accessories. And also, I know how to write a book that is Good.”

Which, naturally, I can’t say to them, because that’s not how it works.

Which, naturally, causes ulcers.

Naturally.

So I live with it. I put on a happy face and I do a few deep sighs once in a while. I send out five more queries. I eat a piece of something delicious (which was, up to yesterday, a square of almond toffee, but from now on until later, it will be something sugarless and without white flour, because also the one-pound-a-week thing isn’t working no matter how many positive thoughts I send its way. See note above re. gummy worms) and I move on.

Also, because I have had some successes (remember those positive responses?) I bought myself a book. “The Fault in our Stars” by John Green. I hope it’s glorious. I have reason to hope. Because he’s brilliant, and stuff. (But mine wasn’t signed. And I might have to do something about that. If you’re not a Nerdfighter, you may not know that JG signed like 150,000 copies of “TFIOS” for the first run. Who gets a first run printing of 150,000? John Green does.) **UPDATE: I looked it up. Only the PRE-ORDERED 150,000 books are signed. Pre-ordered. 150,000. Signed. Go, John Green. You go.

So, on we go, ulcers and rejections and smiles and carrot sticks and all.

I have a few disclaimers, first.

1. I am a cooker. So, I can cook things. From ingredients. Which, you know, is cheaper (by a lot) than the alternative.

2. My Kids are big. They don’t need hourly snacks. They’re gone all day at school. They can wait till dinner. Like that.

3. I am a firm believer in the Food Storage. I have shelves of food, and I know how to use it. (Did that sound like a threat? It wasn’t meant to. More like a back-up to my #1, above.)

4. Moderation. That’s a ticket for us. We try to not overdo any one thing. A bit of meat, a bunch of vegetables, some rice or pasta, and maybe a whole lot of smoothies. But have you seen the replacement for the food guide pyramid? It’s a plate. Of food. Sort of.

Sorry, Kid 4. That so doesn’t resemble your dinner of choice (a huge steak, some sauteed mushrooms, and a pile of fried potatoes). But it’s not that far off from what we usually eat. So, you know, it’s spread around.

So, here is my meal plan for the week. Starting today. Ready?

Wednesday Breakfast: Waffles and Blueberry Syrup

Need to buy: Nothing. All on hand.

Waffles: I keep a mix in the freezer, but I had to refill it this morning. Here’s what’s in it.

7 cups wheat flour
2 and 1/4 cups cornmeal
3 cups “quick oats”
1/2 cup baking powder
2 teaspoons salt

Mix all that together and put in a gallon-sized ziplock. Write this on the label part: “Waffle Mix — 2 cups mix, 2 cups milk, 2 eggs, 1/2 cup oil.” That feeds my family of 6 waffles for breakfast, occasionally with a bit leftover for birdies.

The blueberry syrup recipe is HERE, and I had all those ingredients on hand this morning, too. If I didn’t have oranges, I could have used lemon juice or pineapple juice or probably something else. But I have oranges. So that’s what we (they) had for breakfast.

Wednesday Lunch: Kids and Husband packed sandwiches last night, I’ll have some manner of Green Smoothie, hopefully way tastier than the seriously yucky concoction that was my breakfast. *Shudder*.

After School Snack: Crackers (leftovers from New Year’s Eve) and cheese (always on hand, bought when ON SALE, don’t you know).

Wednesday Dinner: Cheese and Onion Enchiladas (Red) and Corn/Black Bean Salad

Enchiladas: All ingredients on hand. Here’s the Great Big Secret Recipe.

2 Large onions, chopped
1 or 2 cup shredded cheddar cheese (2 for us. We LOVE cheese)
1 can (14 ounce-ish) red enchilada sauce
12 corn tortillas

Simmer the onions in a lidded pan with about 3 tablespoons of water until soft. Pour enchilada sauce into a small pie plate or something. Spray a medium casserole dish (I like the round one for this) with pan spray. Dip a tortilla in the enchilada sauce, both sides. Put it in the sprayed dish. Do it again, and again, so you have 3 now-red tortillas in the bottom of the pan. Scoop in 1/3 of the onions and sprinkle with 1/3 of the cheese. Repeat layers. Pour any remaining sauce over the top. Put a lid or some foil on it and heat until it’s hot. The onions are already cooked, so you can do it fast. Even in the microwave, if you’re into that.

Salad:

(I need to buy cilantro, because I used too much in last night’s salad.)

1 can (14 ounce-ish) black beans
1 cup frozen corn (I like the Costco kind)
1 tomato, chopped
2 Tablespoons red onion, diced
2 Tablespoons chopped cilantro
2 Tablespoons Italian or Vinegar-based salad dressing (I like that Brianna’s one with the artichoke on the front. Very peppery and delicious)

Stir it up. Inhale. Can use avocado to make it perfect, but I’m on a budget. Tell you what. I will buy an avocado if it’s less than a dollar.

(So, to get up to speed, today’s meals will cost me about $1.30 including the possible avocado, because I stored everything else.) After dinner, Kids will clean up, thank me, and, smiling, start making tomorrow’s lunches. Which will include a protein, a veg, a fruit, and a treat. For which everything is in the fridge and pantry.)

Want to hear tomorrow? All-righty.

Breakfast: Smoothie and Scrambled Eggs

Smoothies are our favorites. My Kids much prefer them orange, pink, or purple to green. Whatever. I can do that.

One Good Smoothie (feeds 6)

1 can pineapple (the 20-ounce size)
6-8 ounces vanilla yogurt (I’m a huge fan of the Mountain High – it feels like food)
1 cup frozen strawberries
1 can peaches (the 14-ounce size)
2 peeled oranges
(Then I splash in some rice milk, because I like it better than the cow kind.)

Blend it all up. Serve with straws, because everything tastes better when you drink it from a straw.

I don’t really need to tell you how to scramble eggs, right? Right?

Lunches were packed last night, remember?

After school snack shall be popcorn. Usually reserved for Sundays, because I tend to WAY overdo it, but I’m willing to celebrate. I’m a pushover that way.

Dinner is Aunt Abbi’s Tomato-Basil soup, food storage style, which means I have everything on hand (hers is classier than mine, using cream and stuff but either way, it tastes awful darn good):

1 onion, diced
3 cups chicken broth (made from water and bullion)
4 cans crushed tomatoes (the 14-ounce size, or use a big can if you have one)
1 can evaporated milk
1 cup basil pesto (I have some fresh-ish stuff from Costco in my fridge, and I have some bottled stuff in my pantry. Obviously, I’m going to use the fresh. Because… well, I am.)

Boil the onions in the broth till soft. Add tomatoes. Simmer for however long you have. 20 minutes? That’ll do. When you’re ready to eat, add evaporated milk and pesto, heat through and serve. It’s really good. We all like it, even Husband the Non-Soup Man.

Then I’ll probably make some bread to go with it, because who doesn’t like homemade bread with their soup? I have all the ingredients on hand to make all manner of wonderful breads, but that’s another post entirely.

So, Thursday’s meals cost a total of ($0) –nothing. I have it all on the shelves. Yea, me! Here’s what else I can make without going to the store:

Pizza, Chicken Scaloppine, Tacos, Tuna Sandwich Pitas, Sloppy Joes, Potato Salad, Egg Salad Sandwiches [ick], Fried Rice, Granola, Chicken Parmesan, French Toast, or Spagetti. Plus all manner of breads, cookies, pastries, and, always, popcorn.

So, Friday? Breakfast is German Pancakes and Orange Juice. Lunches? Made. Dinner? Pizzas. Two. One cheese, one cheese and pepperoni. That leaves enough leftovers for tomorrow’s lunch. Also a big fat green salad for which I think I have plenty on hand.

Saturday? Usually my day off. Cold cereal and an apple or toast. This week is different, because we’re having a party. I’ll tell you about it soon. Lunch is leftover pizza, remember? And fried rice and perhaps frozen potstickers for dinner. All on hand.

Sunday? I’ll beg Husband to grill his famous Dad-burgers. I’ll need to buy meat for that. I’ll do some baked “fries” and a bunch of veg-ish toppings for the burgers (tomatoes, grilled onion, lettuce, mushrooms) and I’ll need to buy the mushrooms.

So the list for today: Cilantro. Avocado, if it’s a good price. Hamburger meat. Mushrooms. (Plus Party Food, but I’m not taking that from the normal grocery budget.) And that will take us through Sunday. For something like $16. So I’ll add on some fruits for school lunches and snacking purposes, and smile to myself. $30 easy.

(Grocery-shopping/budgeting disclaimer: I know it’s not an easy thing. I do. And the simple secret is this: Shop the perimeter. Go to produce, meat, dairy and then go home. I am lucky to live in a town that believes in Case Lot Sales, which is the time I buy almost everything I may need that lives on inside-the-maze grocery shelves, like canned veg and beans, tuna, flour/sugar and canned fruit [for smoothies]. I make a menu. I make a list of what I need. I go to the store and I buy ONLY WHAT’S ON THE LIST. <– that’s the hard part. And that’s me, taking back the budget.)

I would like to announce that for what may be the first time ever, I didn’t read the Kids’ gift books before wrapping them this year. Can I say? I’m excited for Sunday. And the following week. A steady diet of cold cereal meals and new books. Sounds perfect.

Decided to spend writing time this morning as a little devotional. I wrote my testimony. Committed it to paper. I don’t do that very often. Or maybe ever. But it felt good to do. And right, for the season and such. It’s a gift to have one, and a gift to share it.

Should I stop telling you how much I like kids? Mine, in particular? Because I maybe tell you a whole lot. But they are a whole lot awesome. All of them. Kid 1 is awesome. And Kid 2 is awesome. And Kid 3 is awesome. Also Kid 4 is awesome. See what I’m getting at? A whole lot of awesome.

And last night I read them David Sedaris’s “Six to Eight Black Men” as a little bit of Christmas cheer. I have managed difficult things in the past, like unmedicated childbirth and stuff, but I have to say, reading that out loud without laughing is a feat I am seriously proud of.

Speaking of feats. And feet.

(Look. I want. Don’t they make your feet happy? Or make you want some orange sherbet? Or something? I don’t know. But I want.)

In an effort to make the Christmas cheer last and last (and not to have a psychotic episode) I have limited my Christmas Music Intake to what happens when I’m in a store playing canned Johnny Mathis and Brenda Lee. And this is good. Because as you may recall, I have a limit to the Cheesy Songs of the Season. But we need to listen to SOMETHING in the house when we’re doing many dishes and making bread and apple pie bars and whatever. So we’ve discovered Pandora’s “PG Comedy Radio.” And it has saved me. In particular, I can put a load or three of dry, clean laundry in front of my kids as they sit on the floor laughing at Jim Gaffigan, Jeff Foxworthy, Brian Regan and BILL COSBY (“Noah, how long can you tread water?”) and they will fold it all, almost without noticing. Oh, thank you, Pandora. (Also, no commercials yet. Hours of comedy. Not a single commercial. Yet.) I know there are cool Pandora Christmas stations, but very few of the songs do it for me. (Except Barenaked Ladies and Sarah MacLaughlin’s “God Rest Ye…” and Katie Melua’s “Have Yourself A Merry…” and any of the awesome Christmas hymns that we sing around pianos or on porches.)

In the spirit of full disclosure, I should tell you this: Don’t hate me, please, if I am the only woman in the world who isn’t in love with Michael Buble. I can stand up and say it. I’m a Sinatra girl. Always have been. And I don’t know if I always will be, but I’d bet on it. I know it’s unfashionable to Not Adore MB, but I just don’t. I can do a song at a time. Then I need some hours of something else. But Kid 1, knowing this about me, made me listen to MB’s “Santa Baby” and she laughed  with me until our guts ached. Um, really? Mike, we should talk. Someone should have staged an intervention with that guy before the album was complete. Doesn’t he have an agent? Or an editor?

Attention future agent and/or editor: Please. Let me not take such a step. Thank you.

Hey, friends, I hope you have a Christmas full of cheer. I hope the food is good. I hope the family is near. If you’re still in That Stage, I hope batteries are included. I hope peace and fulfillment fill up all the corners. Merry Christmas.

XO,
B

—

[1] I don’t believe in credit cards. So I transfer all our savings. Somehow that should make some financial sense. Or something.

Today I’m grateful for a whole lot of white food (turkey, potatoes, rolls, etc.) and a healthy, fun, happy family to share it with. I hope your day is joyful and white-starch-filled.

XO
Becca

I was making bread. I do this often. Yesterday it was pizza crust. And I know that instant yeast was invented just so I could skip the “proofing” step, but did you know that the proofing step is one of my favorite things? So I put the warm water into the bowl. And I sprinkled in the yeast. And the salt. And, because I wanted to watch it do some fun stuff, a little sugar. And I watched, nose almost touching the rim of the bowl. And the yeast got wet and started to sink down into the water, a few heavy little flecks at a time. Then, as I sat there and smelled the magic yeasty smell, it started to dance. The little flecks of fallen yeast rose up as great blobs of frothiness. In different rhythms and in different places in the bowl, they got their groove on and floated up to the top. I stared as they crowded each other out of the surface and started rising higher, above the water level, until they’d become this frothy, airy cloud of perfect yeasty gorgeousness.

Did you know that yeast will proof and rise without sugar? I make bread without sugar all the time.

But did you further know that if you want to watch it jive like I wanted to watch it jive last night, you need to add a little extra sweetness? There’s a lesson in there for me. I know it.

I am grateful for the things that rise to the top and the sweetness that allows the process to become a beautiful thing.

1. It’s snowing. (Yes, it’s really me. It looks so pretty out there, I just got sucked into the moment for a moment.)

2. I’m no longer having the flu.

3. I’m 3 pounds closer to my goal weight, thanks to the aforementioned flu.

4. Husband asked for baked french fries for his birthday dinner. Yes. That is all he asked for. And a Tres Leches cake. Um, done.

5. The heater works.

6. Green olives stuffed with jalepenos and garlic.

7. I did such a good job on Kid 1′s Preference Hair. It was a masterpiece, and I’m still happy about it.

8. Email.

9. I’m going to try to make my first pecan pie today. Kid 2 played the violin in church yesterday, so she gets to choose a treat. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

10. My fingernails are all the same length.

11. You know heating pads? The kind normal people leave in a linen closet until, I don’t know, someone is sick or something? I sleep with one every night. And it makes me so glad.

12. Kid 4 wakes up at 5 M,W,and F mornings and has a quick shower then goes and watches his dad play basketball for an hour or so. He loves his dad. Also basketball.

15. Two days of school this week.

16. Half my kids have clean rooms to start the week.

17. I got a letter with very positive reviews of my subbing work. And a post-it thank you from my “supervisor” saying that I am an outstanding substitute. Don’t you think the word “outstanding” is going to make anyone feel pretty awesome?

18. Thanksgiving dinner is in the works, and most of the food on the menu is white. I am so all right with this.

19. I get to go to the chiropractor today. It’s a little like a twenty-minute massage, except I don’t have to wear someone else’s robe.

20. I think I could live for a long time on only Wheat Thins, brie cheese, and red grapes. Should I try it? Discuss.

21. Kid 3 might get The Appliance removed from her teeth by February. (She calls in Herbert. Or Frankenstein. I’m looking forward to her return to appliance-freedom.)

She has a birthday. She spends this birthday doing really fun things. She finds herself inundated by happy b-day messages here, there, everywhere and SHE LOVES IT. (Fear not. I am done referring to myself in the third person. This causes instant distress in all my Kids. The 3rd person, not the stopping.)

Writing group happens. Oh, writing group, I love thee. See, sometimes we redefine ourselves as “eating/cooking/moaning at the goodness of it all” group. But other times we WORK. And work is good, remember that? And I have some great direction for revisions.

There’s also the new gig: I get to be a Private Tutor. This is second only to my lifelong goal to be a Tudor. Okay, that is a total lie. I’ve never really wanted to be a Tudor. Just to dress like one. (Tights and Wimples, rah!) I am teaching writing to the two loveliest young men, as part of their homeschooling. And people, let me tell you this: It is Fun. We write. We talk. We eat an apple. We write some more. We read. We write. We laugh. We write again. I know, right? Am I the luckiest? Yes. Yes I am.

Familyness happens. And that is good. I like my family a great deal. They are lovely. And funny. And usually very nice to each other. And — did I mention — I like them? Well, I do.

And then there’s the revision. It’s going to be a big one. That may take forever. But that’s okay. I have as long as I need.
I can do what I need to do to make it what it needs to be. <— Did that sound like song lyrics to you? Well, maybe it should be.

Meeting with friends. Eating soup. Playing. Teaching. Presentations in classrooms. Making maps of the United States (okay, only one). Planning stuff. Visiting the sick and afflicted. Exercising with the company of the 2010 BBC Sense and Sensibility (for which Edward deserves his own post). Slogging through a novel that I should just put down already, as my TBR pile grows. Laundry. Soccer games. Cooking. Cross-country meets. Dishes. Watching leaves change (that happens early up here in the mountaintops, but it sure is lovely — come and see). Talking to my parents on the phone (which I love to pieces, but is also an adventure — repeat after me “speakerphone is an invention of the Devil himself”). Watching Kid 1 get asked to Homecoming (also deserves its own post). See? These are the things that keep us from the computer, right? The things that are life. And I’m liking these things.

***And now, I really must clean out a goldfish bowl. Yes, they’re still alive. Yes, this is 7.5 weeks. Yes, they’re growing on me. ***

* A little stalk of bamboo growing in a half-pint jam jar on the kitchen table.

* All my fingernails are the same length.

* Started reading the beginning of the work-in-progress. Maybe it doesn’t completely fail.

* Road trip yesterday got us more than half-way through Adam Gidwitz’s “A Tale Dark and Grimm.” Husband asked last night, “How does it end?”

* It’s lawnmowing day (provided I can navigate the rainshowers, which are, as you recall, likely).

* S told me she saw someone reading my book, and she said she liked it.

* There’s a watermelon on the counter. I think there should always be a watermelon on the counter, don’t you?

* Kid 2 said (of her own free will and volition) “I need to practice today.” (*insert angels’ sighs*)

* Poetry is cool, even if I am not entirely cool. Or even if I don’t really get it the first few times through.

* The dishwasher is not currently spewing water over the kitchen floor.

* I have 2 DVDs of North and South, which I have not taken the time to watch yet. Maybe during that rainshower we’ve heard so much about…

* I’m in a collaborative project. Perhaps details will follow.

* Birds. Lots of birds.

* I don’t have any pets, and my house smells like — wait for it — people.

* Between Kid 2′s X-country run this morning and Kid 1′s Shake-making work this evening, I have all my Kids home with me for HOURS today.

]]> http://www.beccawilhite.com/blog/2011/07/11/things-to-be-happy-about-today/feed/ 4 http://www.beccawilhite.com/blog/2011/07/08/whats-the-deal/ http://www.beccawilhite.com/blog/2011/07/08/whats-the-deal/#comments Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:17:05 +0000 becca http://www.beccawilhite.com/blog/?p=1099 You know when you get in a rut, and food seems stupid and cooking ridiculous and all you really need to survive is a bucket of ice cream and a sleeve of mini-Butterfingers?

Well.

Shame on you.

I’ve never felt like that  a day in my life.

—

I’d rather have Snickers.

—

Love, Becca