I did it. That thing they tell you that you should never, ever do. That dumb, egomaniacal thing.
I looked at my reviews.
Not professional ones (I don’t even know if there are any professional ones – I wouldn’t know where to look). Just the ones on Goodreads. Why? you ask. Why would you do this thing?...
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Category Archives: anxietyYesterday, where was I? At the optometrist’s office, having my retina checked. Because possibly I’m a hypochondriac. Here’s the story: At my last visit, he said, Hey, lady, you have dreadfully strong contacts prescriptions. You should be very alert for the following symptom: if by chance you ever see some weird fluidy floating, light-flashing ripples... So there are two main kinds of fears: Rational ones and Pathological ones. Rational fears are things like being afraid that the lion running toward you with his rabid spit foaming through all those sharp fangs just might, you know, want to eat you. Pathological fears are things like, well, being afraid of raisins. So today I went to the bank. I may or may not have needed to cover an overdraft, and if I did, that’s none of your business. So I’m in the bank, and I hand over the business to the cute teller girl. She said, with a shy smile, “Um, I need to tell you... Like: There’s this beautiful new thing, and I want everyone to see it. Not Like: I invite a whole lot more people to come around at delivery when it’s a book. Like: There’s that gasp of surprise and delight to see it whole and shiny. Not Like: Much less mess. Like: I find myself telling people all kinds of... I love, love it when there’s nothing to do. Sometimes I get a paralyzing, breath-constricting, sleep-stealing anxiety when there is too much going on. Like now. Somehow I thought that spending the past hour writing it all down would calm me. If I could get it on a schedule, I reasoned, it would all seem more... |