I’m wishing some wishes lately.
I’m wishing this: that my kids know how much I like their company (even though it seems SO OFTEN like I’m telling them to hurry up or to get to bed or to hustle out to the car).
And this: That I could be better at phone conversations. They are so hurried these days, and I miss the moments (hours) or getting lost in the laughing and crying conversations.
And this: that I could find an appropriate and believable way to tell my 200 sophomores that I LOVE THEM. Because I do. And you hear those sweet stories of OLD people telling about a teacher they had when they were young’uns, and they just knew their teacher loved them. My younger 2 kids feel that way — their teachers from elementary years loved them (most of them, but not all), and they know it and feel it. But I think my high school girl would deny recent teacher love (but I’d totally bet on it) and my college girl would only feel confident naming one or two high school teachers that loved her (when in fact most of them did, and tell me so). Can my students know I love them without it being weird? Every honorable feeling crosses dumb lines these days. Hey, my students’ parents! I’m not weird! I just love your kid! Okay?
Also: that my sophomore darlings would have believed me when I told them I’d have zero tolerance for cheating and plagiarism. *sigh* I found 3 papers with the exact same wording today, and I felt like I was going to cry. But I can be strong and give them the promised Zero on the assignment. And somehow, I want them to remember that I still like them. How do I balance that? (Mystery of Life, I reckon.) (I”ll work on it.)
And: I wish I could have more hours in a day and night. I’m not completely exhausted every afternoon now, but I wish I could hang out more with my husband, because, you know, I kind of like him. And it’s nice to see 10:00 pm without sleeping, but 5:20 comes pretty early in the morning.
And then: On a totally unrelated note, I wish I had a truly gorgeous world map on my living room wall, and a brown and sepia globe on a stand. I’ve always wanted a standing globe, but I’ve never bought myself one. Maybe next year.
Last of All the Game: I should like to give myself writing time again. I have dedicated most hours of the last month to Very Important Things and People, and I want to add writing to that list once more. So let it be written. So let it be done.