Want to know what I find gross?
And what I find more gross?
Milk falling out of the fridge and exploding onto the kitchen floor, under the fridge and under the oven.
Grosser than that?
Having it happen twice. In one morning. Before 8:15.
Happy Sunday, Day of Rest. Come on over and I’ll hand you a mop.
 Sorry, milk lovers. I will put rice milk on cereal and I will drink coconut milk straight from the carton, no glass needed. But if it comes from a cow, it ought to be ice cream. Or butter, obviously. Or cheese. Or possibly custard. You get me?